10 Steps to a Better Friendship with Your Spouse

Marriage, like any friendship, begins with areas of commonality, but the stresses of normal everyday life – children, work, finances, illness, caring for elderly parents, I know this first hand – can tax the union and cause it to grow apart. Marriage counseling is one way to deepen your friendship, this can set you back alot of $$$, you can also engage in some simple practices.

Here are ten suggestions to cultivate a stronger relationship with your spouse. I've also included quotes from average folks that have successfully built this kind of friendship:
Recognize that friendship building takes a lot of work – and time. Cut the fat out of your day.
Establish a time each week to spend quality time together – then guard that time with your lives!
Choose to spend time together rather than apart. This may mean sacrificing some things such as small groups, play dates, or bonding time with guys or gals. After all if Mom & Dad aren't happy the children suffer.

Explore the interests of your spouse be it baseball, art, musical theater, gardening or hunting. Find out what their passionate about and then join them. Often this takes a bit of sacrifice.
"I intentionally study the things that are having an influence on my wife. If she takes up a new area of interest, or is reading a new book, than I need to do that as well." —Bill

Take time to find common interests and then engage in them.
"We've tried many things together over the past 35 years. We enjoy cooking and gardening, and for as long as I can remember we take time away from the kids to backpack during summer. Part of the fun is doing research on hiking trails, camp sites, packs, tents, and cooking stoves … it's the planning together that has grown our friendship." —John

Use conflict to sharpen and purify friendship.
"I thought I was particularly fortunate because my husband and I rarely argued - we agreed on almost everything. The process of recovering from adultery revealed unhealthy communication on both our parts. Now we have more disagreements, but they come about because we're being honest with one another, which is helping us get to know each other more all the time." —Andi

Nourish and care for one another. Be gentle with one another.
"We lost our first child. We more than comforted one another. We held each other … lifted one another up … and we knew at a deep level that our best friend in the world was going through the same thing." —Glenn

Accountability and mutual respect, including in the areas of sexuality, finances, and relationships, should be a priorities.
"My wife knows everything about my brokenness. I have gone to her first in difficult situations. There's a small circle of people who know me and know my depravity. My wife is in that circle. Having that transparency has given me strength, clarity, and tremendous freedom." —George

Establish daily habits especially praying together.
"Praying together every morning not only sets the tone for our day, and releases the burdens on our hearts, but it puts us on the same page in so many areas. God meets us in the midst of our friendship every morning." —Justine

Affirm one another every day. Be intentional in communicating the other's strengths. Men love to know you appreciate them! Not that we women don't but men specially need to be built up.
"My wife and I make it a habit to regularly communicate those things we admire or value in the other. This practice has strengthened our friendship." —Al

Be transparent with one another.
One activity I suggest to married couples is, at some point during the day, identify an emotional reality to your spouse. Label that feeling in a self-disclosing way such as 'I'm angry, fearful, resentful.' Not during an argument or time of fit. Just communicate this to them. We often limit our conversation to the reporting of events rather than communicating how we really feel.

Communication. Most experts agree that regular communication builds a friendship that weathers the storms of life.
"For us, communication, in part, is negotiating the rules that will make our relationship work better or flow more smoothly. As women we know that men don't talk as much as us so be patient.

Negotiate your bills down

Happy Happy Wednesday! This is a big problem for so many of us. We have too many things we think we need and then look out the $$$$ we owe goes up and up. These are such trying times right now and it is so easy to get carried away in Emotional Spending. " I deserve a break" or "Lets just get away" or "That facial will do me wonders". None of which is going to make our situation better, in fact this kind of spending can lead to destructive behavior. And if the kids are old enough o witness this and understand it, they will become over spenders and find them self in trouble as adults. Lets break this habit.
But in the mean time you can negotiate your bills down. Call your creditors and have the conversation with them, they are people to. Be prepared to hear not so nice of person on the other end, after all you owe them money. If you have a hardship, IE. loss of a job, illness, or even the death of a breadwinner, be prepared to prove this information and you most likely will get your dept reduced. Also know what you can afford to pay in monthly payments o when they ask you if you can afford to pay "$325.00 a month" you can say no "but I can pay $150.00". That way they know you are willing to be responsible.
Every 6 months or so cal all your credit card agencies and ask to have your interest reduced, all they can say is no, but I have had mine reduced just by asking. And it doesn't hurt to be on time with your payments.
There are a lot of scams out there that say they can do all this for you but will charge you tons of money, now how is that gonna help. Here are a few trusted sites full of information.
Good luck gals.
www.Bills.com www.debtright.com www.nfcc.org

Free meals for the Kids

Hello, and happy Tuesday. Wow what a rainy day here in Utah, I really do love it though, this is when you can get a lot done, but don't seem to do anything. Sound familiar? I am trying to fancy up my blog page but cant see to get it, That is what our kids are for...Help!

With the economy being the way it is I thought I would share some ideas with you on how and where to get Free stuff. Yep I mean Free. Todays Free site is for all you young Moms. I know it is hard to feed all the kids and your husband too so try this one. Besides having them eat from your plate go to Kidsmealdeals.com and enter your zip code and you can find restaurants in your area that have kids eat free days. Some kids hardly eat anything on there plates and you can bring leftovers home for their next meal. Now that sounds like a money saver if I ever hear of one. The best part, besides the free meal is you don't have to do the dishes either Yippee.

Gettg started

Ok, here we go... My daughter has been telling me about this blogger business, and that I should start on. "you have so much knowledge to share" she says. She is the writer in the fam. I am the party planer, well so is she now, mmmm a chip off the block. I feel overwhelmed with this, she said I would. But somehow it is good getting these feelings out.
I am suppose to be vacuuming. Oh by the way I am a terrible speller so you will get a kick out of my posts. I know now I am going to have to exercise if I am going to blog, I can feel my butt getting bigger as I speak/write.
Any suggestions on getting started out there, Let me know.